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Study: Getting Back With Your Ex Will Not Make You Happy

Updated: Wednesday, 22 Feb 2012, 10:22 AM EST
Published : Wednesday, 22 Feb 2012, 10:22 AM EST

(EndPlay Staff Reports) - If spending this past Valentine's Day alone had you reminiscing about past relationships and hoping to reconcile with an old flame, think again.

According to a new study from Kansas State University by assistant professor of family studies, Amber Vennum, being a part of a cyclical relationship – a couple that breaks up and gets back together – is not going to make anyone happy.

Vennum said, "When cyclical couples break up, they tend to be ambiguous about ending the relationship. So it can be unclear to one or both partners if they broke up and why they broke up, which leads to them continuing the romantic relationship. Other times the breakup won't be unilateral, so one person pursues the other until they get back together."

The findings were the result of evaluating the responses from cyclical and non-cyclical couples by using a relationship deciding scale to determine what the couples felt about their relationship and characteristics.

The results revealed that when couples got back together, they were more impulsive about making big decisions like moving in together or having a child together.

Because of these rash decisions, cyclical couples tended to be unsatisfied with their partner, reported poor communication and a lower self-esteem.

The news release also reported that similar findings were found in another U.S. study on cyclical relationships.

The other U.S. research team of cyclical relationships found that the reasons couples reunited was because they thought the other had changed or felt that their communication was better.

Cyclical relationships don't differ much whether a couple is married or simply dating.

"It really shows that those patterns of cyclicality tend to repeat. If you tend to be cyclical while dating, you tend to be cyclical while married. The more you are cyclical, the more your relationship quality tends to decrease and that creates a lack of trust and uncertainty about the future of the relationship, perpetuating the pattern," Vennum said.

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